The first half of 2009, like both halves of every year before it, is GONE. It will never come back, it's time to let it go. . . Sound familiar? Well, back then I listed what should be, in effect, a buyer's guide of the first half of the year for Reggae fans. Now we're doing the exact opposite. A Do Not Buyer's Guide. You'll undoubtedly run into a few of these shopping around online but do not be bamboozled based on a pretty cover or remembering the finer days of these artists because nothing here is either pretty or fine. I submit, for you (disap)proval, the WORST Reggae albums of the first half of 2009.
{note 1: Only albums OFFICIALLY released in the calendar year 2009 and before July 1st qualify (sorry Norris Man)}
{note 2: Only studio albums qualify, no compilations (sorry Reggae Gold)}
{note 3: No Soca (sorry Brother B)}
Midnite - To Mene [Rastar Records]
When Vaughn Benjamin is ON, he’s ON. When he’s not. . . He’s something else. File To Mene alongside Ahneed, For All and Thru & True as SOMETHING ELSE indeed. This one either lacked direction completely or came with a direction that only its creator (Benjamin) would overstand. It somewhat has, in its very brief time, become probably the most critically lambasted Midnite album in recent memory and I was ‘glad’ to see that I wasn’t alone in my thought (see comments here). Things do figure, however, to get better in a little while (HOPEFULLY) when Benjamin again links with Rastar for Ina Now but as for To Mene - mission unaccomplished.
Perfect - Karma [Chalice Palice]
While the word which first comes to mind to describe the first album on this list is clearly ‘odd’, I have no doubt in my mind that Karma is just ‘bad’. An album full of nothing but love songs from an artist who hasn’t shown himself capable of doing that on any type of consistent basis AT ALL. Not even Turbulence would have done something like that and even if he did, it would have had to be better than Karma. Perfect is capable of so much better and had actually spent a brief time as one of my favourite artists, however, with the absolute MESS that was Karma, those days fade further and further into oblivion.
Dainjamental - Unexpected [Killer Groove]
A few things with this one. . .
The first is that when I first heard it I assumed that it had to be me who was in error as APPARENTLY there HAD to be not only two different artists donning the name Dainjamental but two from Trinidad no less. THERE HAD TO BE! Why? Because the artist/producer I knew as Dainjamental from out of Trinidad was predominately a Roots artist who had impressed a little bit in the time since I’ve heard his name.
Like So. There just had to be because the Dainjamental on Unexpected was a HELLACIOUSLY MEDIOCRE Dancehall head and the album which to my surprise had grown so popular and done so well so as to precipitate its almost immediate followup which will also apparently be released this year. But, like I said, they aren’t the same person. . . Right? WRONG AS HELL! I don’t know what happened but apparently either I didn’t know Dainjamental very well (which is very possible) and the songs that I had known him for were the actual deviations and Dancehall was the norm or he just had a sudden shift in focus and decided that Dancehall paid better. Regardless of the case actually, I couldn’t stand Unexpected for the most part and it wasn’t so much that it was so bad but really AVERAGE Dancehall is almost, by definition, really BAD on its own. The album dealt with the stereotypical Dancehall topics and did so lacking any perceptible quality at all, it was just kind of ‘there’. And, not so shockingly, the one or two times it did anything worth listening to was when the vibe slowed. I’d say Unexpected. Unexpected as hell!
Tuggawar - Anyting Mi Say A Law [Tugg Movements]
A few years ago there was an album being pushed by JetStar by the name of Fi-Dayz by English Dancehall DJ Tuggawar. Up until that point Tuggawar’s name had been built on the story of him being arrested for something and spending a half of a year in a Jamaican prison. The story goes that he then got out of Jail and impressed people SO MUCH with his live performance that upon returning to England he was almost immediately signed up by JetStar and it led to the Fi-Dayz album.
But Fi-Dayz was pretty bad (and who can forget the PARALYZINGLY AWFUL remake of the US pop hit, Pretty Fly For A White Guy???).
Well, since then JetStar has apparently vanished which wasn’t the worse thing in the world, in retrospect, and seemingly, unless you lived outside of England, where he would have probably gotten a radio show or something like such, Tuggawar was gone as well and we wished him well.
HOWEVER! If you were unfortunate enough to have been paying ultra attention to the releasing schedules of European Reggae (and I was) you encounter this anti-gem Anyting Mi Say A Law from the very same Tuggawar and he more than outdid himself on the Fi-Dayz album which is a reverse candidate for album of whichever year it was released in compared to Anyting Mi Say A Law. 22 heaping spoons full of fecal matter, it was awful in every way. I called Dainjamental average and stereotypical Dancehall (and I was probably being nice in that case), however, being ‘average’ in Tuggawar’s case would improve him several notches. It joins, in my opinion, albums like Mad Cobra’s Milkman, Louie Rankin’s unforgettably awful Lethal Weapon and Alley Cat’s Imperial Level as one the ABSOLUTE WORST albums I’ve ever heard and (HOPEFULLY) the worst Reggae album of 2009.
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