The Headscratchers

Chances are that if you’ve purchased more than . . . Two or three albums or so, you’ve experienced this - You’re really looking forward to it and you start playing it a little and what happens? All good common sense that you have tells you that it isn’t very good and you become instantly disappointed, but what do you do? You fill in the gaps and you either convince yourself that it is good or, you put it down to return to it later. We’ve all been there. It is the musical equivalent to FINALLY linking up with that special someone you’ve had your eyes on for soooooooooo long, only to find out that something isn’t quite right when you get their clothes off, so say your eyes or, most regrettably, your nose [Don’t lie, you’ve been there as well]. Perhaps more interesting, however (at least in the music sense), is when you do open up that new album and pop it in (there’s a joke in here somewhere, I’m sure) and your brain slowly begins to seize up because it’s not quite sure what to think. These are albums which, for some ridiculous reason or another, be they good or bad, just . . . Don’t quite add up to even remotely decent sense. They may not be really bad (although they usually are), but they are most certainly odd. These are the ‘standouts’, the ‘special albums’, and, in most cases, the ‘vibrationally challenged’ - I submit for your approval a few moments of my own like this. Albums which make very little sense: The Headscratchers.

{note: Although there're one or two instances, I tried to avoid glaring crossover attempts}
{note 2: Although there is one instance (but it is legit and it adds to the puzzle), I also attempted to avoid Charm/Penitentiary/Rude Boy releases}
{note: 3: Albums are listed in no particular order}
{note 4: Biggup Dale Cooper}

Sizzla - “Rise To The Occasion” & “Soul Deep” [Greensleeves - 2003, 2005]

The Twins. Okay so, my first entry in this post is a bit of a no-brainer as just a half decade ago, Sizzla Kalonji, alongside the then burgeoning (but clearly skilled) Don Corleon, completed a set of two very odd albums (even for him), ”Rise To The Occasion” and ”Soul Deep” (which I’m fond of calling ‘Show Love’ for some reason).

The first of the two, in retrospect was and remains the more popular of the duo. It spawned hits such as the title track which was the biggest of them all, ‘Give Me A Try’ and ‘It’s Burning’, which is now probably my favourite tune here - But damn! See track #11 for pretty much everything you need to hear here as evidenced for extraterrestrial behaviour. ‘In The Mood’ is cheesy and dusty cabaret sounding . . . Stuff and it is probably mathematically incorrect as well. There’s also ‘Nice & Lovely’ which I think I used to like (I’m sorry) and the very slow and child-like vibed ‘Give Praises’, which sounds like something that I could’ve made on my daughter’s keyboard. ‘I Was Born’ was a minor hit of sorts, I can’t stand that song and it’s odd. ‘Know Yourself’, ‘The One’ and then almost completely random ‘riddim work’ tacked on near the end. Oh and if that weren’t enough - On my own personal copy - The sleeve was bigger than the case so just looking at it there is this permanent wrinkle in the cover when it is cased. How fitting!

As for ”Soul Deep”, while as a complete unit, it was probably better than ‘Rise’ and not quite as outlandish, but certainly it earns its spot on this list. The good stuff? The biggest hit here was probably , ‘Be Strong’, which was a hit the year before the album dropped on Corleon’s MASSIVE Drop Leaf Riddim and while I don’t particularly like it anymore, I definitely used to, so I’ll give credit where it is due. I do like ‘Where Are You Running To’, probably now more than ever and ‘Show Me’ is another very strong selection as is ‘Why’ (although should you ask me about that in an hour or so, I might not think so). The rest of the album? While not complete RUBBISH tunes like ‘Good Morning’, the useless ‘Girl Come To See Me’, that R&B song, ‘All I Want’ alongside Morgan Heritage, the praising dance song ‘Mount Zion’, the . . . . I don’t know the adjective ‘Love You More’ and the closer, ‘Push & Shove’, over the DOMINANT Tighty Tighty Riddim - NOPE! Good moments here and there surely, but they just as surely were perplexing.

In total, the albums still, surprisingly, remain rather popular. ”Rise To The Occasion” did quite well commercially, if I recall correctly and just going through ”Soul Deep”, I was very surprised at how many of these songs I remembered by the letter of the lyrics as I haven’t drawn on this one maybe in a couple of years or so now. But they were odd highlights on what has been a most odd trip through the discography of Sizzla Kalonji.

Sizzla - “The Overstanding” [KOCH Records - 2006]

The Showoff. The backstory of Sizzla’s foray into the wonderful world of ‘mainstream’ music, ”The Overstanding”, shouldn’t require too much explaining (and if it does, I’m sure you can find it somewhere else), but the basics were that Sizzla, somehow and someway (probably because he’s the greatest of all time) attracted the attentions of Hip-Hop ‘mogul’ (I hate that word) Damon Dash who inked up the chanter to put together this album for, again, the mainstream music world. Of course this was impossible to do, in retrospect, but I give them good marks for effort as the idea to include previous hits of the artist was a good one, I think. The weirdness, of course, came when they went ahead and re-recorded each and every single one of them. So you get unfortunately new renditions of songs like ‘Solid As A Rock’, the previously mentioned ‘Give Me A Try’, ‘Just One Of Those Days’, Thank U Mamma’ and even ‘Black Woman & Child’. I’m a fan and so are you so we would’ve liked the original more, obviously, but would it have sold better with them? Obviously not. ”The Overstanding” did have ‘Take Myself Away’, which was a score and it did bring in new fans as well, but I most remember it as an idea which wasn’t the greatest, was carried out decently and now exists in the annals of, again, the very ‘colourful’ discography of Sizzla Kalonji, which we‘ll revisit again before this list is done.

Bushman - “My Meditation” [Stingray - 2003]

For lack of effort. Ostensibly, there isn’t much out of the ordinary surrounding Bushman’s ”My Meditation” album (save for the fact that it was, essentially, a re-release of an earlier album, ”A Better Place”). Produced by the very reputable and respected McLeod bros. of Stingray from out of the UK, the album was one of Bushman’s earlier pieces and it was pretty popular in its day (in both forms). But it was inherently FLAWED and in the worst possible way in his instance. What happened? I recall reading an interview with the Bushman where he related a story of his manager setting up a session in the UK and that he so did not want to go that while he did go, he just wasn’t into the vibes and didn’t do his best. And you know what? You can hear it. Bushman’s HEAVY baritone vocals are some of the most impressive that you’ll hear in the landscape of modern Reggae music - There isn’t a tune on this album, in either form, which features those sterling vocals. NOT A SINGLE ONE! Things hit the complete bottom when ‘Back Weh Vampire’ rolls in, which sounds like it did roll in while Bushman was rolling in his bed asleep. The Country music loving Bushman also doesn’t help things when he draws a Kenny Rogers tune, ‘Love Will Turn You Around’, but I’ll tell you the strangest aspect of this most forgettable piece - Had he sang it GOOD, like he usually does, it almost surely would have been a GREAT album. But he didn’t and it’s the worst album he’s ever done, by far.

Louie Rankin - “Lethal Weapon” [Atlantic - 1993]

All in a name. You’ll notice that I didn’t use my usual ‘of the last decade’ caveat in regards to this list and I did so purely to be able to include this one album. Louie Rankin is an artist who is destined to probably be best remembered for his roles in the films “Shottas” and “Belly”. And if you don’t watch movies and know him for his music, then certainly you’ll recall his biggest hit, ‘Typewriter’. And that’s cool. It’s cool because it distracts you from remembering that he also had a decent hit in a tune called ‘Lethal Weapon’, which might lead you to MOST UNFORTUNATELY remembering that he also had an album named after that song which may be the worst Dancehall album of all time. It was bad that it was weird. Take away the title track and maybe ‘Buenos Dias’, and the rest of the album’s twelve tunes are rubbish. And not only that but you see the title and the title track was a typical ‘violent’ tune (“lethal weapon, got the lethal weapon. Every time mi come DJ run up and dung”) - But the Rankin spent the vast majority of the album discussing his bedroom prowess. At its frightening worst there was the BARRY WHITE inspired ‘Put On Your Negligee’ and its awful remix. Lethal indeed . . . To everyone unlucky enough to stumble upon it.

Norris Man - “Hey Woman” [JetStar - 2004]

The no-crossover. Typically when we say the word ‘crossover’ in reference to Reggae music, it means that an artist is making music which isn’t of his/her usual genre and is aimed at garnering new attention. Fair enough. Rare is it, however, that we see an album which although it has ‘crossover’ material on it, it’s pretty clearly meant for Reggae fans. Such was the case on Norris Man’s ”Hey Woman”. It is an R&B album and it isn’t a very good one and everything I recall reading about it used to talk about how bad it was. I don’t think it HORRIBLE, but it was one of the most truly bizarre albums I have EVER heard. Norris Man’s greatness comes when he locks his very unusual vocals on a riddim (usually a one-drop) and is able to almost overwhelm his listener with EMOTION that we not only ignore that his voice isn’t the greatest, but the fact that it isn’t makes the moment even better. When you take it and you do to it what is done on this Cynergy produced album (ESPECIALLY on ‘She Don’t Need Nobody’) it . . . Well it . . . Is counterproductive . . . To sanity.

Busy Signal - “D.O.B.” [VP Records, 2010]

Busy being Busy. A few months on and I’m still enjoying what I’m hearing from Busy Signal’s latest studio album, ”D.O.B.”, and I don’t foresee that changing anytime soon which is different from most other albums here and it also goes to show, like I said, that “odd” doesn’t always translate into “BAD”, musically speaking. Busy Signal used to be an artist who, while he always displayed an exceptionally high talent level, didn’t always display the type of ‘WOW’ which it seemed like he could do on every tune. Those days are long gone. The Busy of today is one who doesn’t know how to back off an idea and, because of that, he’s clearly the most inventive artist in the Dancehall today and one of the most such of all time at this point. ”D.O.B.” found him at the heights of his creativity. When hardcore Dancehall circa 2009-2010 meets PHIL COLLINS, meets THE COMMODORES and meets ELVIS CRESPO. You’ve gone into some very odd territory and Busy did just that (he also ‘met’ Katy Perry shortly before the album was released). Add to that some pretty odd ‘standard’ Dancehall such as the album’s finest song, ‘Opera’, ‘Hair Dresser Shop’ and that far too enthused tune ‘Nuh Fraid’ (and you listen to the album going straight through - Notice the HUGE change after that song and the melancholy ‘Peace Reign’ which follows it) and what you have is an album which had a SERIOUS problem with boundaries.

Anthony B - “Untouchable” [Togetherness Records - 2004]

Writing on the wall. Despite the fact that it was probably one of his highest profile albums to date, it probably wasn’t a very good sign for ”Untouchable” by Anthony B when he was to be seen, very uncharacteristically just kind of hanging out on a yacht in the album’s liners. Certainly what followed wasn’t going to be one for the sufferers. There wasn’t going to be a great deal of burning of babylon and the shores of Rome (does it have shores???) were safe for now. But there was Bone Crusher! And Snoop Dog! And Blaqthoven (who!)! Yes. This was probably Anthony B’s worst album to date and it’ll probably (and hopefully) remain so into perpetuity and it was completely ODD! There were remakes: ‘Someone Loves You’ (which was one of the best songs here actually) (alongside Aisha) and ‘Lollipop’ which was absolutely awful. There was fluff and R&B: ‘Safe Sex’, ‘Love I More’. And there was very odd and bad sounding Hip-Hop. The only redeeming qualities to the album was the main attraction, ‘Lighter’ alongside the always welcomed Wyclef Jean and the decent ‘Sweet For A Moment’, but despite the fact that Anthony B has been one of the most consistent artists of all time, this album proves that the occasional lowlight even strikes in for the best of them. UNTOUCHABLE INDEED!

Jahdan Blakkamoore - “Buzzrock Warrior” [Gold Dust - 2009]

Mistaken identity. I was really on the border about whether or not to include ”Buzzrock Warrior” on this list because when you REALLY think about it, it’s not that weird, itself. The album is a Hip-Hop/that UK stuff album and there’s nothing wrong with that . . . Unless, of course, you were expecting a Reggae album and we were. ‘Solo Jahdan Blakkamoore album’ sounds downright appetizing at this point (and apparently, I won’t have to wait very long from this writing to get it again in ”Babylon Nightmare”). It sounds like you just can’t go wrong with is - If it’s Reggae music. ”Buzzrock Warrior” wasn’t, but apparently the people at iTunes believed otherwise because they called it the best Reggae album of 2009. Not a weird album, weird circumstances, but weird enough to qualify it.

Al Pancho - “Righteous Men” [Minor 7, Flat 5]

Featuring. Thinking a ton about the final selection on this list got me to thinking in the direction of this most unusual release. Okay, there’s more than just a strange album at play here. The first thing you should know is that the label which released ”Righteous Men” by Al Pancho back in 2003 has gone on to become one of my least favourite labels since then and I was REALLY high on some of their stuff a few years back (and still am in a few cases, particularly Anthony B’s ”My Hope” album which is arguably his best album ever and CLEARLY the best thing the label ever did). The second thing you should know is that, for some reason, I am just not a fan of Al Pancho’s. I can’t explain it, I’ve heard a great deal of his music (obviously, now three albums deep) and it just doesn’t do much for me. So maybe some of that might explain how he could drop a debut album featuring the likes of JAH MASON, NATURAL BLACK, LUCIANO, LUTAN FYAH, JUNIOR KELLY and even BOUNTY KILLER and it just not resonate with me very much at all! Two songs here, ‘Start All Over Again’ alongside the Mason and ‘My Reputation’ with Lutan Fyah, are very good. The others? If they began to disappear from the back cover of this album and off of the disc itself, I probably wouldn’t even notice. Why? I have no idea!

Bunji Garlin - “Revelation” [VP Records - 2002]

Can you blame them? Looking back, Bunji Garlin’s first two albums, ”Chronicles” and ”Revelation”, just weren’t his best material. No one cares about the former because it’s pretty much long gone at this point (although I own a CD copy of it), but the second one was actually a VP album! It’s not hard to see why, looking back. The album dropped in 2002 which is the same year Garlin took his first of now four Soca Monarch titles (tying with Iwer George) and despite the fact that it rose before he actually took the crown (I THINK), clearly Garlin was something NEW and refreshing in Soca music. His style was one which was easily transferable to the majority of VP’s fans (Reggae fans) and listening through the album, they clearly aimed him at doing music which Reggae fans would find more enjoyable. Of course the problem with doing that is that you risk losing the FUN, which is what happened here. This one isn’t horrible actually, but I place ”Revelation” on this list of most strange moments because it managed to do something which just should NEVER have happened: With just a few exceptions, it made Bunji Garlin kind of boring (fortunately VP would get the mix right a few years later with the big shot that was ”Global”).

Spragga Benz - “Prototype”
Mad Anju - “Mad Bwoy Anju”
Sizzla - “Addicted”
[Drop Di Bass Records - 2008]

Hello. Hello. Hello. Thinking back and despite the outstanding year currently being had by an amalgam of the oft-mentioned (at least around these parts) Jahsolidrock & Not Easy At All Productions, I cannot think of a label in recent memory which made a LARGER display for an introduction than Drop Di Bass back in 2008. The label, over the course of a few months (I THINK) released three different albums from three Reggae/Dancehall veterans (two of whom were bonafide stars and the other was a debut album), Spragga Benz, Mad Anju and Sizzla Kalonji. That, itself, was pretty damn peculiar if you ask me, but when you got into the actual music, the wackiness surrounding the albums became less and less so.

Because Spragga Benz’ ”Prototype” was his first album in quite some time (that didn’t require you to literally mail your first born child to Japan in order to purchase), it immediately grabbed my attention. But it was pretty bad and just had some very strange occurrences, such as the fact that the album ends in three consecutive tunes, ‘Frigg Ya’, ‘Number One’ and ‘Come Home’, which featured Spragga alongside Sizzla. It was actually ‘average’, but average Dancehall is, of course, the absolute worse thing in the world.

For his part, Mad Anju, having been around from forever, clearly did the best out of the three, but that isn’t saying much and his debut album, "Mad Bwoy Anju”, probably would have been even better if not for all of that damn music! Yes! ”Mad Bwoy Anju” sans any riddim whatsoever, would have been better in my opinion. I don’t get the opportunity to talk about him too much, but Mad Anju is one of the most talented Dancehall artists of all time. Without qualifications, AT ALL. He’s that good and the fact it took him this long to have an album is just a testament his . . . Desire to do other stuff besides deejaying. So, lyrical and delivery brilliance does abound, but it is trapped in this thing. Two combinations alongside Vincy Soca poster boy (one of which features Sizzla also), at first seemed just nice and experimental, but in retrospect it now seems not so good (experiment didn’t work too well). And the production was just kind of adequate throughout. Anju, master class of a DJ, did well, but yeah shave the music and you would have had a real winner and when do ever say that about an album, much less Dancehall.

And finally there was Sizzla with ”Addicted”. I’ll make this simple: In terms of albums where there was an actual effort given to make the project into something - this is probably his worst album ever.

And it should also be said that if ”Addicted” didn’t have a title track, before I went back to spin these albums for the sake of writing this, I couldn’t have named you a SINGLE TRACK off of any of the three. Now maybe that says a lot about me or maybe this shit was just strange (and how they haven't delivered an album from Calibe (who would sound good on this stuff) is just ridiculous)!

Chezidek - “Rising Sun” [VP Records - 2005]

The Gold Standard. I know I mentioned that this list wasn’t put together with any type of order in mind, but I did specifically save the ‘greatest’ for last. Probably once a year or eighteen months or so, I pull out Chezidek’s ”Rising Sun” and give it a THOROUGH listen because I’m still convinced that, even five and a half years on, it will be different. But not only is it never different. Every time I hear it, it’s like hearing it for the first time . . . Chezidek is one of my favourite artists, it was produced by Xterminator (my absolute favourite label, EVER) and there’s nothing funny going on. There aren’t any Hip-Hop tunes - It’s almost completely 100% Roots Reggae - But I don’t get it! There’s just something about this album which just doesn’t quite add up. I don’t know if I like it, I don’t know if I hate it. I cannot tell you the best song, I can’t tell you its worst either. It is a musical brain lock of the highest caliber. And I don’t think I was the only one as I don’t think I’ve ever read ANYTHING remotely decent (in terms of how it is written) about, negative or positive. It’s almost like the sun never rose and it never existed. But I’ll keep trying. Why? I don’t know.