Thursday, April 21, 2011

The 20 Sexiest Caribbean Artists 2011

Over the course of the past ten days to two weeks or so, we’ve received quite a few messages from readers, longtime and new alike, to give a ‘redo’ of one of my most popular (and probably THE most popular) lists to date, “The Top 10 Sexiest Caribbean Artists”. Initially, I didn’t really want to do it because I didn’t think that the results would be too different (and in many respects, they weren’t), but after thoroughly running out of other ideas to do something else for today and . . . Just generally enjoying the experience of observing pictures of very beautiful women, I relented. To make things even more difficult, however, I added a next ten (and thought about adding five more after that) and changed things up ever so slightly. So, I now submit for your most colourful approval or disapproval - The Twenty Sexiest Caribbean Artists.

{Note: Artists are ranked strictly according to my own tastes}
{Note 2: I distinctly tried to avoid comparing this list to the first in most cases}
{Note 3: No Behaviour!}
{Note 4: NONE!}

#20. SHELLY G [Guyana - Soca]

The rule-breaker. I have to admit that maybe it’s because I’m quite partial in her case as she’s always been a very nice person to us, but former Guyana Soca Monarch, Shelly G, appears on this list despite the fact that, ostensibly, she isn’t my ‘type’. To me, curves are Queen and while I’d fully expect Shelly to be near the top of this list (and Patrice Roberts) in a few years or so - I simply couldn’t leave her out because she is absolutely gorgeous. Also, it doesn’t help that almost everything she does, musically, she does with her own brand of familiar Soca-styled innuendo, very suggestively. She’s just a very sexy and sultry person, in general, and I’d be a damn fool (even more than usual) if she didn’t make this list. Look at her (. . . Starting to think maybe she‘s too low here)!

#19. TARAH HOLDIPP [Barbados - Soca]

'Push Back' & 'Love De Carnival'

Push it back again. It was maybe two or three years ago now that I REALLY began to take notice of yet another name which certain to rule a list like this one in just a few years or so, Tarah Holdipp from out of Barbados. Besides making a most interesting vibes of Groovy style Soca, Holdipp was quite interesting because she exhibited the old adage that ‘good things come in small packages’. In her specific case, it’s big and beautiful lips and that ass (which she freely cocked up in the air and waved like she just didn’t care in the WONDERFUL video for ‘Push Back’ and ‘Love De Carnival’, while rolling around the sand) (lucky sand) and apparently, she agrees.

#18. IKAYA [Jamaica - Dancehall]

Fresh & clean. Over the last couple of years or so, Kingston native Ikaya has made herself a name to be dealt with and respected in the Dancehall (or whatever you want to call that shit these days) as the well versatile artist has enjoyed an excellent stretch in that time, musically. Physically, on the other hand, it seems as if she’s been doing well for an even longer stretch. The diminutive chocolate CUTIE definitely has an edge to her, but just looking at her, she also seems to be the type who’s carrying around a pretty big secret and because I’m such a nice person, I’m willing to ‘take one for the team’ and find out what it is - Any time, any place.

#17. TEJAY MONTAGUE [Barbados - Soca/Pop]

Summer kisses. I’m pretty sure that Bajan dynamo, Tejay, has aspirations to follow in the line of a couple of her very popular ‘neighbours’ whose names you won’t find on this list, but if that doesn’t quite work out for her . . . I mean . . . Yeah, she’s good where she is. A few years back she dropped her debut album, ”Summer Kisses” and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who did a double-look when I saw her and her legs curled up so nicely on the album cover. Her music is the kind of Poppish styled Soca (and sometimes R&B) that you would imagine reaching the ‘mainstream’ someday and, again, while I’m happy if it doesn’t I’m definitely pulling for her because she seems like a very nice person - Oh and doing that means she’ll likely shoot a whole heap of more videos and perform more. She is absolutely beautiful.

{Note: I believe TODAY is Tejay’s Earthday so big her up}

#16. LUDY [Martinique - Zouk]


No need to talk AT ALL. In one of the most stunning moments in the realm of musical videos, Ludy emerged from behind a curtain to greet her man and the rest of the world with a dress with the words written on it - “NO NEED TO TALK . . . “ - And I couldn’t agree more, you don’t need me to tell you about her! The shot was in the video for ‘Amazing’, to my knowledge, the first big hit for the hostess turned Zouk star from out of Martinique. And we figure to see a lot more of her (THANKFULLY) in 2011 as, at least presumably, the full album for the single will drop for Don’s Music at some point this year which means good music . . . And at least one new photo shoot. I can’t wait for either.

#15. ALAINE [Jamaica - Reggae/Dancehall]

Never ordinary. In the couple of years since we last examined, with the exception of a new Mother on this list, the divine Alaine has had the most drastic change in appearance as she cut her hair. I do prefer the long and flowing do on Ms. Laughton, but she could shave her entire fucking head and I’d still make room on this list or any other like it for her. I don’t necessarily think of Alaine and think ‘SEXY’ immediately, but she comes through in a more romantic type of vibes and for what she does, I can’t think of a female doing it better as she’s taken all the inherent beauty and splendour of Zouk music and packaged it into a Reggae frame - And one which is very easy on the eyes. Also, take a VERY good look at Alaine. She’s very unusual looking and although I have lost taste for the label ‘exotic’ when it comes to people, she would definitely fit the requirements on that descriptor.

#14. DESTRA GARCIA [Trinidad - Soca]


Hiding in plain site. You know . . . In however many years I’ve been listening to Destra’s music, I don’t know if it ever occurred to me just how SEXY she was until 2011. Perhaps it was the fact that she wasn’t as visible last year with having a baby and all or perhaps it was due to the fact that in her Soca Monarch performance she got all nice and comfortable in the world’s luckiest bed and looked damn good doing it. Whatever the reason, Destra does belong on this list as she arguably looks as good as she ever has and although I haven’t been paying the greatest of attention in that regard (generally when I see Destra I don’t think about how nice she looks, I think ‘Damn it’s Destra, that means more good music!), she makes insanity look damn good.

{Check Destra’s new album “Welcome Back”}

#13. GOLDEE [Martinique - Zouk]

The look. I think when I very first took a look at Goldee, I would’ve either thought that she looked very young or that she looked maybe like a mannequin (there was one picture, in particular, in which she looked very doll-ish). Now, all grown up at 25-26, she’s definitely come into her own and while she’ll likely never have the most expressive of looks, her look - whatever it is - Is beautiful! “Whatever it is” is quite key because she, also, is truly one of a kind. I’m sure a lot of people would think that she looks a bit like American R&B superstar, Alicia Keys, and I can definitely see that, but certain things are different and it really just makes up one NICE looking person who, from what I can see, is also very nice and, of course, makes excellent music with her last album, ”Le Moi De May” still bubbling.

#12. MISTY JEAN [Haiti - Kompas]

The prototype. Misty Jean, Kompas star from out of Haiti, along with a handful of others on this list is just MY TYPE. She is what I like and had she been more active these days (she is reportedly brewing something at this very moment for later this year), she would’ve certainly been higher on this list. It’s beautiful dark skin, it’s wide and sweeping exactly where it needs to be and it supports a human being who not only has done quite well in her career, but the former beauty queen STILL figures to have an even brighter future as she still has a year or two before hitting thirty years old. Hopefully someone will be following with a camera also as the internet seems to be slim on quality captures of this beauty.

#11. KÉNÉDY [Guadeloupe - Zouk]

'Mon Oasis'

'Enmé Mwen An Kreyol'

The transformer. Similar to the case of Goldee, my absolute favourite Zouk singer, Kénédy, has also experienced a bit of a metamorphoses in the time that I’ve been listening to her over the last few years. If you go back and look at her first release, "Mon Oasis” and its videos and pictures, you’ll see a version of the singer who, although very attractive, is literally caterpillaring her way into becoming the beautiful butterfly who would emerge by the time her second album, ”Entre Toi Et Moi" would reach. I’m still quite interested in learning of the change and how it happened and I’m even more interested in the fact that, be it this year or next or the year after that - EVENTUALLY Kénédy will make another album. Can you imagine if she takes a similar leap forward? If she does that then dumb ass lists like this will prove to be a little less fun when the #1 entrant is not in question AT ALL (although I should say that the songstress is now in her early 30‘s apparently and she‘s probably developed into what we‘ll eventually see from Shelly G and Patrice Roberts and I cannot fucking wait to see it and neither can you)!

#10. ETANA [Jamaica - Reggae]

The Beautiful One. For some reason I’m picturing Etana being completely against me writing this list because it’s certainly objectifying to women in some regards (however, in my defense, I would surely offer the fact that I wrote 2500+ in reviewing her outstanding new album ”Free Expressions” and it’s still probably the best album of the year that I’ve heard thus far) (and not to mention the 3000+ I did on the big version of ”The Strong One“) (I digress), but I think I have good reason and you won’t meet too many (sane) women who mind you telling everyone how beautiful they are. In Etana’s case, I think it’s so interesting because her persona and her image are of the variety that you’re so much more inclined to stop and listen to what she’s saying (which is a good thing), but if you energize your most basic of instincts and just LOOK AT HER - For years now, Etana has been traveling the globe demonstrating to anyone with even remotely functioning ears and a brain that inside she is a beautiful person and hers is a special case where after you open her gift, you treasure the wrapping just as much because from head to toe she is STUNNING!

{Check Etana’s new album “Free Expressions”}

#9. ALISON HINDS [Barbados - Soca]

Ding Ding Ding! I think that I spoke too soon in the instance of Alaine, because the legendary Alison Hinds (I think that we can call her “legendary” now) also went through a similar hair change and I guess we’re still waiting on the results of that (probably not, but I hate paying attention to stuff), so I’ll just address the rest of her. I remember watching Hinds perform ‘Obsessive Winers’ alongside Destra and Saucy Wow, and the three went through the line describing BUMPER size as “Big” [Destra], “Bigger” [Saucy] and “HUMONGOUS” [Hinds]. And that ROYAL built-in cushion is merely a highlight of the landscape of Hinds’ flesh. If you like WOMEN, real women, there’s no way in the world Alison Hinds hasn’t caught your eye (even if she just did now).

#8. NNIKA FRANCIS [Grenada - Soca]

Living spicy. I will never make a list like this and not reserve a big position for Grenada Soca diva, the delightful Nnika Francis. Why? The woman is just sexy and I hate to sound like a broken record (even though I do it Tuesday and Friday of every week), but everywhere you look on her body is just HEALTHY! And from everything I can tell she seems to be a very nice person and hopefully she begins to make more of a way for herself in the music because I think that she has the type of talent that she could definitely be one of the bigger names. As for her look, as far as her hair, she's seems to have gotten something which works so nicely for her and EVERYTHING beneath it seems to be in more than proper order, particularly in the hips and ASS regions and as much as anyone on this list, back from #20, Nnika is just SEXY (!) and forgive my frankness, but if the question were who would I want to %$#& OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN on this list, she’d be number one - with an iron fist.

#7. TANYA ST-VAL [Guadeloupe - Zouk]

Cool queen. A legend in the world of Zouk, the incomparable Tanya St-Val appears on this list as, by five years (ahead of the second oldest, Alison Hinds), its oldest entrant, but if you look at her, you can tell that my inclusion of her here is definitely no lifetime achievement award. She just looks GOOD! Not only that, but much like in the case of Alison Hinds, St. Val just personifies and captures everything that it means to be a classy Caribbean artist and that, alone, is just sexy. On top of that, her looks are . . . Exotic to some degree as I believe her immediate heritage includes some East Indian blood and thankful should be anywhere and any type of bloodlines to have made a creature so elegant and so absolutely beautiful.

#6. STEVY MAHY [Guadeloupe - Kreyol]

'San Vou'

Beautiful Beautiful! You knew she had to be in here somewhere. Definitely the biggest BEAUTIFUL discovery in music over the past couple of years, as she didn’t appear on the first list at all and now registers as high as number #6 is the enchanting and the downright odd Stevy Mahy. Besides making ‘beautiful’ music, Mahy’s biggest hit is one which could well describe herself also as she, for so many different reasons is just halting! You literally have to STOP and take a closer look into what’s going on while ‘merely’ looking at her face. Highlighted by these two LARGE greenish eyes and a pretty straight forward and basic shaved head, Mahy’s look is one which channels through as being so natural and so IMMEDIATELY attention grabbing - And that’s just if you stop at her neck and I’m not! Below it is ample amount of serious curves ("push up unuh hand if unuh love HIPS AND ASS!"). You can see for yourself and I’m SERIOUSLY considering giving Ms. Mahy a step up on this list. And not to mention the fact that her music is always so sensuous (even when it doesn’t seem like she’s trying to make it so) and that surely helps in all matters beautiful (beautiful!).

#5. LADY SWEETY [Dancehall - Guadeloupe]

We’re waiting. How fucked up is it that I can’t be entirely sure that, with the exception of performance pieces, I can’t confidently say that the internet feature ANYTHING in the way of pictures from the brilliant Lady Sweety which are less than a couple of years old or so? Nevertheless I did make sure to still reserve a very high place on my list for her and, upon a truly ridiculous amount of examination - I’m more sure of it today than ever before. If you really take a look at Lady Sweety, I think what you’ll find, like I did, is that her looks somewhat belie her musical style. Just looking at her, she’s gorgeous, of course, but what strikes me is just how COMFORTING she looks. She looks almost motherly (in the non-obvious sense of the word) (and, surprisingly, I used the same word in the first list in reference to her and I didn’t even read until afterwards, but when you turn on a record, at her most damaging best - Lady Sweety is PROBLEMS! She is a flaming powerhouse of lyrics making her one Mother that YOU do not want to piss off (ME, on the other hand, BRING IT!) (and by “bring it“ of course I mean to bring your new album Lady Sweety. DAMN!).

#4. NADIA BATSON [Trinidad - Soca]

Miss B. Trini Soca inferno Nadia Batson was definitely the greatest oversight from the first list (although I did remember her in the expanded edition), as you can see her now in the top half of the top half of the list - I acknowledge my mistakes. Physically, Batson may very well be the largest member of this list and, as you can see, that’s no problem, none at all. I’m going to try as hard as I possibly can to keep this clean, but Miss B - Yep! I think her ‘case’ is somewhat similar to that of Etana as, she doesn’t seem to push herself as a ‘sex-symbol’ for the most part (and the same could be said for one or two others on this list), but unless you are COMPLETELY blind you’ll well take notice of the fact that this big, beautiful, Afrikan woman is gifted in more areas than making the masses jump and wave. And DAMN (!) that is a nice picture (bumpers rule and hips do too).

{Check Nadia Batson’s new album “Miss B”}

#3. JESSYE BELLEVAL [Guadeloupe - Zouk]

Still sleeping. While she hadn’t been very active over the past couple of years, the downright enchanting Jessye Belleval will always have a place on this list as long as I’m the one in charge of compiling it. However, with that being said, she did return with a brand new tune (which proved to be quite a hit) ‘Mon Armour’ and a video for it which showed everything was still as it always was. What is most remarkable, to me, is that unlike Stevy Mahy or Tanya St-Val or Alison Hinds - So many of the other artists on this list - There’s NOTHING which strikes you as being unusual about Belleval’s look. She just looks amazing in general and while, ostensibly, there isn’t one glaring thing about her, her entire look becomes that glaring thing and so much so that she’s #3 on a list like this. AMAZING (biggup Ludy)!

'Mon Armour'

#2. FAY-ANN LYONS [Trinidad - Soca]

Count me in. Most interestingly, the last time we did this list, Fay-Ann Lyons had just given birth and you didn’t really know how that which is her own most striking feature, her figure, would recover. Two years on and she arguably looks better than ever which is saying a great deal especially if you watch this video which is now three years old.

Fay-Ann Lyons @ Soca Monarch 2008 [This should have won]

Or this one which is now five years old (and no, she is not naked, even though you wish that she was).

Fay-Ann Lyons @ Soca Monarch 2006 [This is actually quite amazing]

Lyons of 2011 is even more filled out and she’s still kind of GRIMY and she also is full of one trait which I don’t think I’ve mentioned just yet (although I certainly could have in the cases of Destra, Ikaya and particularly Lady Sweety) - CONFIDENCE. You’d be full of self-conviction too if you’d been on a roll of MASSIVE proportions for nearly have a decade and it is that confidence and that star quality (a rough one) and that natural aggressive sex-appeal which makes Fay-Ann the biggest fireball you’ll find which is only kind of bound by the restrictions of gravity.


#1. CE’CILE [Jamaica - Dancehall/Reggae]

Anything. In what should come to the surprise of no one at all, repeating as number one here is Ce’Cile who has obviously spent the better part of her past two years scoring some significant hits, making general musical strides and just looking better than ever before. All of those are pretty difficult to do considering her well decorated past (especially recently) and now is the time where it seems (again) to be coming all together for the well versatile songstress. What REALLY brought her up here, recently, in my opinion was the fact that she just looked about as good as I’ve ever seen her in one of her most recent video releases, ‘Call Me’ (alongside Yann Sélo) and seemed to do it without much effort.

'Call Me' w/Yann Sélo

Furthermore we can go back to the still relatively fresh video for ‘Anything’ and see that, after all of these years, Ce’Cile, now quite the veteran, is still serving up top notch eye-candy (literally, she is going to give your EYES diabetes)


Years and years of show-stopping good looks, without fail, which have only gotten better over time and apparently entering her musical prime (for the fourth damn time) (she has consistently managed to ‘reinvent’ herself without even trying, showing herself to be one Reggae’s truly most durable acts in . . . a really long fucking time) simultaneously pushes Ce’Cile to the head of the class here making her, once again, my choice as The Sexiest Caribbean Artist alive.


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